Choosing where and how we age is #goals

AGING AT HOME

Believe it or not, by 2030 one in five Americans will be over the age of 65. Even with all of our infrastructure challenges, including a fractured healthcare system, Americans are living longer.

Have you thought about what things will be like when you’re in your 60s, 70s, or 80s? For some it may seem like it is too far off to give it thought. If you’re like me, approaching a milestone birthday, all of a sudden 60 doesn’t look as far away as it did in the past.

I have given thought to what I’d like my 70s and 80s would look like. Thoughts of comfort, safety, ease, and independence come to mind. And, thoughts of aging at home (health permitting) resonate.

Dr. Saskia Sivananthan, a neuroscientist and CEO of dementia-focused think tank, the Brainwell Institute shared, “We want to stay at home because it’s a familiar place, we have our routines and there’s the independence and the autonomy.”

I totally agree and here’s the rub . . .

“But the fact of the matter is, with Alzheimer’s disease, as you get to those end stages, you’re going to need a lot more care, and that’s so difficult unless you have a caregiver and a whole team surrounding you to support you.”

Having the care discussion with the older adults in our life is crucial, even if they are in the best of health. Our health systems don’t proactively help us think this through, so we have to take it upon ourselves to do so. Unsurprisingly, the US healthcare system isn’t the only to neglect this piece of planning.

Dr. Sivananthan says of Canadian healthcare, “We have not gotten a co-ordinated system in place to support people pre-emptively to remain at home and so instead, you end up going to the ER or having to move to long-term care in crisis, and that’s the worst possible way to make those decisions.”

As a caregiver who has made critical decisions in the moment of crisis, I advise planning ahead even if the conversation creates discomfort. This message is especially for caregivers who have not thought about what those latter years look like. We are and should always be an important part of the planning equation. As you help others in your life, remember to make plans for your future years.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMPATHY AND COMPASSION

For the longest time, I conflated empathy and compassion. This was a misstep. They are two separate things.

Empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” Compassion is “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.”

Neuroscience research further clarifies the difference between empathy and compassion. If one over indexes on empathy, burnout could result. Yet, compassion “creates beneficial changes for both giver and receiver.”

There are healthy ways to bring compassion into your journey. Two I appreciate and now use are: asking "How can I help?” and creating support networks instead of doing or trying to do everything yourself.

Read this article for more information about this topic.

NUGGETS OF INFORMATION TO RETAIN

This week I’m highlighting two pieces of information.

• One caregiver shared his perspective on his journey. Take a read and pay specific attention to the financial account pieces he navigated.

• Interested in caregiver data on the state level? Check out this webinar replay hosted by the National Caregiver Support Collaborative.